meeciteewurkor » humor

Laugh with me, not at me

meeciteewurkor — Sat, 09 May 2009 02:25:46 +0000

So i get home from work today around 5:45pm. I lay down on the couch thinking I’m going to take a nap.
I wake up again at 7:30. I get up, make some coffee, take a shower and sit down to read the “morning” news.
Eventually I notice that it keeps getting darker instead of lighter outside. I look at my computer’s date and time. It’s Friday?? That can’t be right! I panic thinking I’m late for work, but I remember specifically that “yesterday” was Friday, because boss-man brought donuts. He does that every Friday. Hmm…
I drink my coffee. I think I might need to call and tell boss I’m going to be late as my mind gets more and more confused.

Then I remember I was taking a nap.

Now I’m wide awake with two cups of coffee and it’s Friday evening and not Saturday morning like I thought… The sun is now down.

The Little Ants that Could

meeciteewurkor — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 18:52:42 +0000

I got a new digital memory video camera the other day and was out in the front yard playing around with it. That’s when I randomly saw out of the corner of my eye these ants dragging a spider around. Check it out:

Of course, if you feel sorry for the poor spider, then here’s another video I found on youtube where the spider kicks some serious ….. (warning: contains possibly offensive language)

UPDATE: looks like I’m not the only one that got a new video camera. Check out this Cardinal. wow!

May I have a bite?

meeciteewurkor — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 23:33:20 +0000

My youngest was chowing down on a cereal bar earlier today.
It was apple and cinnamon. It really looked yummy.

I asked her if I could try a bite.

“No, daddy, but you can have the wrapper!”

She hands me the wrapper.

I look at it.
She smiles very cutely.

I put the wrapper in my mouth and start chewing on it very thoughtfully.

I say, “Tastes like chicken. Does yours taste like chicken?”
Youngest stares at me with an amused look on her face.

We all laugh.

Easily Entertained

meeciteewurkor — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 01:11:33 +0000

I have kids. As most fathers would say, they are the most adorable, wonderful children on earth. If you don’t have younger children, you probably don’t know what Webkinz are. They’re little plush animals you can buy that come with a “secret” code that you can use to unlock online with your Webkinz account. You then have a virtual Webkinz online that you have to take care of, feed, clothe, and shelter. It’s really fun for them and me, too. Recently, my internet was down and so we couldn’t get online to “take care” of our animals. So instead, we got to playing with the real-life Webkinz, and my oldest suddenly decided that they needed sunglasses. Here is the result: (click for bigger version)

Quite cute, if I do say so myself.

Especially Ruled

meeciteewurkor — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 02:16:51 +0000

Ever had to fill out a captcha form when signing up for something online?

Yesterday, I was approving this freak (Irritated Tulsan) as a friend on Facebook. (I still hate social networking sites, IT) I did think twice about being his friend… well… because of this:

hmmm…

You know, it could have said something like “puke cat” or “contractors suck” or “i love the whilrd”.. but no. It said “especially ruled” as if I am being threatened or something. Taunting me.

You realize, of course that captcha forms are randomly generated from a preset list of words, right? There is no way somebody was sending me a message… right?

IT knows I hate social networking sites, and by God, I refuse to even log in to my ancient myspace account. (In fact, I’m going to go delete it right now…) Myspace is the scourge of humanity, as far as I’m concerned. Turns full-grown adults into junior high, pubescent drama queens.

Ah heck.. all in good fun. IT, I still think you rule. especially.

I guess if you want to be my friend or whatever the heck it’s called… go ahead. Geez… next thing you know, I’ll be twittering or tweeting or whatever it is.

(Can you all tell I’ve been living under a rock for the last year?)

You want us to do what?

meeciteewurkor — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:27:09 +0000

In light of the recent citee corruption, thought I’d turn the tables a little and make fun of some of YOU people that have called the citee over the years…. These are all (mostly) real. Most of the answers are not.
(a little reminder that there are a couple thousand of us that have nothing to do with the actions of a few…)

“What do you mean you won’t fix my roof?”
-I’m sorry ma’am. This isn’t the Obama-free-money-for-the-irresponsible hotline.

After a severe rainfall:
“The low spot in my yard is full of water”
-I recommend the Shamwow. I also get a 10% kickback if you purchase one from that site.

“The mayor won’t return my call”
-I hear the formation of public trusts can solve issues like this.

“I pay you to pick up trash! Why doesn’t the city provide trash bags?”
-You also paid for that questionable off-the-street companionship yesterday, shall that come out of the Mayor’s PR budget? By the way, you don’t have any choice. We own the trash business.

“I don’t flush my toilette but once a week. Why is my water bill so high?”
-umm.. What?

“My ONG bill is too high”
-Call AEP, they run billing for ONG now. We used to, but we got bailed out by them.

“If you don’t …” insert some unreasonable demand here “I’m gonna sue!”
-The toilette lady already tried. It was deemed as frivolous as Tulsa Whirld lawsuits.

“My electric bill is too high”
-Call ONG. They can help you with that.

“mcw needs more training”
-He trains with the firefighters all the time.

“My neighbor waters her yard too much”
-Ah.. that must be the secret to her only having to flush once a week.

“Can I use the fire hydrant to let the kids play in the water? I used to work for you guys, and I know how to operate it.”
-Are your kids on fire?

If the answer to the above question is “Yes,” then the answer is “No.” You’re obviously too stupid to a be parent and this is nature’s way of breeding out the tards.
If the answer to the above question is “No”, then let them play with matches until the answer is “Yes”. We can always give nature a helping hand.

“If I give you $1000, will you leave my water on?”
-How much was your last bill? $36??

“I didn’t pay my water bill, and now the citee is charging me a late fee!”
-I recommend contacting one of our fine citee contractors. They have a lot of experience in late penalties and weaseling their way out of them, despite a contract (like yours) that mandates such penalties.

“You all need to fire that citeewurkor who blogs!”
- They tried to fire him last week, and he really embarrassed them by kissing the mayor on the lips and begging for forgiveness. Then he died in a bizarre fire hydrant accident last week. weird.

“You have a sexy voice, are you single?”
-Yes, but the mayor’s secretly courting me, so back off.